Have you ever found yourself in moment of grief where perhaps you are on the bathroom floor or in a closet crying so hard the snot is coming down your face? We all have grief it different spaces of our lives and many other emotions as well. If we don’t process these and try to keep the buttoned up picture of ourselves together, what does that really do for us?
Do you think those that cry are not strong? But those that always have a smile on their face must have it all together? That you are required to keep your different roles in your life separate and they aren’t allowed to intertwine?
Then pull up a chair, turn up the volume, and listen to my conversation with author and I will proclaim her as a true life grief guru Nora McInerny. Did she want this title? No, who does, that doesn’t sound fun or sexy. However, when you’re husband dies of brain cancer when your son is two years old and then several months later you lose your dad as well, you start to have a crash course on grieving. Not to mention Nora is an accomplished author (you can buy her books via the link below – you won’t regret it!), podcast host of Terrible Thanks for Asking, co-founder of the Hot Young Widow’s Club, advocate for those going through the craptastic moments of life by supporting people with unrestricted grants via her social enterprise Still Kickin.
So if you have ever felt…
and any other emotion
So basically, breathing, you should listen to this podcast.
Life right now has every title or role we carry intertwined and some days it feels like a Sunday drive and other’s it feels like an endless looping, fast turning rollercoaster ride no one wants to be on. Life isn’t all sunshine and moonbeams. I think we are coming to terms with having what we might refer to as authentic and unfiltered – REAL conversations. These won’t make everyone always comfortable especially those who do seek a filtered more perfect life. Have you ever had someone share something with you or quite frankly the world (aka social media) and it comes at the perfect time because you were either going through something similar which made you feel like you weren’t alone. You aren’t alone. Nora is so wonderful at allowing space for people to not feel alone because she shares with no real plan, just what’s on her heart.
As we close out the month of March, which by the way is Women’s History Month, which I think can celebrate the foundational Trail Blazers and current leaders like Nora, let us remember that we still have ways to go. As Nora and I discuss coming into the working work whether you are entrepreneur or business owner like us, or you work an awesome corporate gig you love, side hustler, medical professional, non-profit or place of worship employee, YOU are YOU and great at wherever you want to be. No one has to define for you what your life looks like. Trails weren’t blazed before by being quiet. We need all of us in every corner to advocate for ourselves, each other, and our communities.
I was reading a portion out of a book I love (sorry Nora this one wasn’t yours – but I do love all of her’s) last night “The Mindful Millionaire” by Leisa Peterson. No, it’s not a book on how to become a millionaire rather it’s on the emotions that surround money and wealth. I couldn’t help but think as Nora and I wrapped our conversation today how I always talk about how our emotions play a critical role in our financial lives then remembering this portion I read. “Part of the reason discussions about money have remained hidden from view has to do with the fact that exposing where you are with money can usher in a flood of emotions, including shame, greed, guilt, and regret — not that it is always bad, just that we have a lot of feelings about it and you don’t yet feel comfortable talking about those feelings.’“
Feelings can be messy like after a toddler eats any meal and only part of it made it to their belly and the rest was on the floor, their shirt, or in their hair. It’s also okay to be messy. It’s okay for other people to see the messy, because sometimes them seeing your messy makes them know their messy is okay, too!
SIDE NOTE: Friendly reminder because I feel like someone needs to hear this, let’s remind ourselves that grief happens at many level and is not a comparison game. You get to feel the grief of loss over many things in your life not just the loss of life. We also all experience these feelings differently – there is no magical equation to solve, however, I would strongly encourage therapy and sorting through them rather than bottling them up.
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