How to Have a Conversation With Your Partner about Money

For those of you that celebrated Valentine’s Day yesterday you know that this day is not only to share love for those close to you, but to let them know how much you appreciate them.

 

So, in honor of the importance of creating healthy and fulfilling relationships I was inspired to share some insight on today’s Thrive For[e]ward podcast on the topic of How YOU can talk with your partner about money.

 

According to a recent survey of 191 CDFA professionals from across North America, the three leading causes of divorce are “basic incompatibility” (43%), “infidelity” (28%), and “money issues” (22%).

 

I have found that many couples don’t know where to begin or even how to talk about money. But, if we don’t talk about it or we are not on the same page it’s hard to move forward together.

 

So, how can you start the conversation?

 

The first step is recognizing that each one of us, and each of you in your relationship comes to the table with a different story.

 

According to an article in the Daily Herald called Money Matters: Strengthening your finances and marriage at the same time | there are three main reasons couples fight about money. If any of these problems are left to fester, it could lead to a serious problem. But if you stop and talk about it, you can discover the underlying issue that’s causing the disagreement and emerge stronger on the other side.

  1. Debt and resentment

  2. Salary differences and guilt

  3. Different money tendencies

 

A great exercise you can do with your partner is to take a piece of paper and spilt it into four quadrants (or if you have a lot to share use a separate piece of paper for each question.) First, you are going to do the first three portions on your own. Fill in the answers to the questions below.

  1. What were you taught by your family?

  2. What were the subconscious things you learned either by family or those around you?

  3. What has society portrayed on you?

    Now, sit with your partner and fill in the last portion. This is how you can rewrite your story an create YOUR wealth vision.

  4. What do you want to experience together? This is the joint part of the activity!

 

What I find frequently find is when you bring a third party into the room – for example a behavioral focused financial advisor or financial counselor it can be helpful in laying a healthy foundation. Express what you want to communicate and gives each of you the opportunity to process before taking on the sensitive conversations one to one. Talking about things in a more relaxed atmosphere and honestly.

 

In our household, we have determined who is responsible for what financial pieces and who owns what part of the process or activity. Over the years we have tried many things and we are always working to improve and check in with one another along the way. Right now, our system works for us but it can always change as life events happen and as our family evolves.

 

What do you think the key element is in having these conversations?

It’s simply the act of communication!

 

Always remember to lead from a place of love with each other when you are establishing a new foundation together, whether it’s your first year in the marriage/partnership or you have been together for decades.

 

At Forethought Planning, we KNOW and BELIEVE that money touches all aspects of our lives, we are here to support you on your journey, whatever that may be. 

 

YOU ARE WORTHY OF WEALTH and if you are interested in learning more about Forethought Planning and how we can help you on your journey, please schedule an appointment to our complimentary 30 min Wealth Assessment session to learn more about how we incorporate these strategies and others to assist you through the financial planning process.

 

RESOURCES from today’s topic:

As always, YOU ARE WORTHY OF WEALTH and if you are interested in learning more about Forethought Planning and how we can help you on your journey, please schedule an appointment to our complimentary 30 min Wealth Assessment session to learn more about how we incorporate these strategies and others to assist you through the financial planning process.

Securities offered through LPL Financial, a member of FINRA/SIPC. Advisory services offered through Advisors’ Pride, a SEC registered investment advisor. LPL Financial, Advisors’ Pride, Forethought Planning and the guests of Thrive For[e]ward podcast are separate and unaffiliated parties. Any of the parties listed above are not affiliated with Forethought Planning, Advisor’s Pride, or LPL Financial. The views expressed here are those of the participants, and not those of Forethought Planning, Advisor’s Pride, or LPL financial. The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. LPL Financial and Forethought Planning do not offer legal services.

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